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I am putting sticky notes with funny facts and sayings on them all around my school tomorrow. Any suggestions?

Help! I am going to do this huge thing tomorrow with sticky notes in my school and I need funny, yet appropriate things to put on them considering it is school and all. Suggestions please?

Public Comments

1. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Laughter doesn't make the world go round. Laughter is what makes the ride worthwhile!!!. ---
2. there are only 10 kinds of people; those who know binary, and those who don't - computer nerd joke If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours. -- Harry S. Truman Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown. -- Conan OBrien
3. if you want funny facts then you should just write down all the Snapples fun facts on them. They're the best! http://www.brianlane.com/articles/snapplerealfacts/ here's a website with a bunch of them! One of my favorite's: Fish cough.
4. say no to drugs... say yes to TACOS!!
5. Ninety six percent of people put the peanut butter on first when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 30% of Chinese adults live with their parents. People spend about two weeks of their lives at traffic lights! The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy. Walt Disney was afraid of mice. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. Close to 80% of people who watch the Super Bowl on television, only do so to view the commercials. The ten most generous countries are all in Europe. 0.7% of Americans are currently in prison. Wow!
6. The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing their hands in jelly How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Norris? All of it. No word in the the English dictionary rhymes with "MONTH". Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. The man who played the voice of bugs bunny was allergic to carrots. No president of the United States was an only child. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. Take your height and divide by eight. That's how tall your head is! An 'aglet' is the plastic or metal tip of a shoelace. If you're typical, you can guess someone's gender with 95% accuracy just by smelling their breath.